I thought I'd start one of many MML Forum competitions today.
I want to know about the weirdest, funniest, strangest, damn right craziest things you've seen in Morrowind. I don't want to know about talking mudcrabs, guards dealing moon sugar or things that quite a few people want to know about - heck, it may even be a glitch in the game.

Don't reveal too much if its a spoiler, mind.

The winner, judged by myself receives, say, 100 gold for use in the forum shop :-)

It better make me laugh

hmm funniest MW moment... funniest MW moment... *thinks hard*

well think it wud have 2 be when i decided 2 mess around with one of my unbalancing items, i placed all of balmora under my complete control... then spawned an ogrim titan and watched em all go 2 fight it and get thrashed :lol: well it was entertaining but i dont really know if its funny

one of the funniest moments has 2 be when fargoth turned 2 me and said "I think you're a thief! Because you've stolen my heart." to my male char. also when that old coot crassius asked my male char 2 undress. but these are commonly known about neways i guess

i dont really get any funny/unique glitches... guess in a way im lucky

Funny moments, boy I've had a couple of those.

The one that springs to mind though is when I was walking through Balmora.

There I was strolling through the city when I saw an odd sight. A dark elf, fully clothed treading water in the canal, with the usual calm/stern/bored expression that always seems to adorn their features.

As I walked past him (crossing the bridge), he glared up at me and stated in a matter-of-fact way:

"I don't talk to vagrants."

So there's this fully clothed dark elf, swimming in the canal exclaiming that he doesn't talk to vagrants!

Let's just say my stroll changed to a jog.

The funniest thing I ever saw was during one of the Telvanni quests I did. I had to deliver a new skirt to Mistress Therana in Tel Branora, so I took it to her only to discover the crazy lady wouldn't wear it because it might be cursed, and told me to try it on. Then, I talked to her Khajiit slave and told her to wear the new clothes. She did, then Mistress Therana went f***ing crazy and blew the crap out of the poor slave with multiple fireballs. I couldn't stop laughing. I'm sure glad I didn't try the skirt on myself. :lol:

ohh yes i forgot about therena... she's definately the most hilarious character in the game

I don't remember using teleportation, but there I was.....alone.....naked!
(hehe had to say it)

Well, It's more weird then funny but what the heck.

When I was running with my Orc (authlaw) from the gaurds of Balmora(2) in the direction of Ft. Moonmoth there where 4 Imperial gaurds running in my direction.
Knowing I could never outrun them with my slow orc, or defeat the 6 guards (2 from Balmora and 4 Imperial) I saved the game, and kept running to the imperial gaurds getting myself ready for a good but hopeless fight. But when I got closer and closr to the Imp. they didn't change their directions and runned straight past me. I was so confused I just stopped and turned around to see what the Imp. where doing. Then I saw the 2 "Telvanni" gaurds from Balmora still running after me, so I tought. When the Imp. and the Balmora gaurds reached each other they started fighting. Not with me, the outlaw, but with there fellow gaurds. When the fight was over (the Imp. won of course) the Imp. just walked back to there place in the fort. When I talked to one of the surviving Imp. gaurds to get any information. He and the other Imp. killed me for being a murderer.

Talk about a fair justice. :blink:

-I don't know what happend, maybe it was a fault in the game, maybe it was a bug that got triggered when I saved the game, I don't know......


Paddo

well, hmm, i don't have too many good stories... but i do have a few...

one time, i was walking into caldera, and i had recently cleared my head of a somewhat sizable fine, and i'm getting close, and one of the imperial guards just all of a sudden whips out his sowrd and comes running at me. seeing this, i thought that the game had glitched, and hadn't registered that there was no bounty, so i pulled out my hammer, pulled it back and waited. when he got within range, he showed no sign of doing anything besides killing me, so i swung, and killed him after a small battle, which of course was reported as a big crime, as though i had started it. After i had killed him, though, i kept getting hit and hurt. i turned around and found an alit behind me, taking bites. the stupid guard had been running to kill the alit, and i had killed him and gotten a bounty for no reason. so, not wanting to pay off ANOTHER big fine, i loaded a game, and found that i had somehow not saved it for a long time. so, i got so mad that i just slammed the button to turn my computer off, no shutting the game or windows down, and didnt play for a whole day. all because of a stupid idiot alit and a dumb guard. :angry:

well, i think thats the expent of my funniness in MW, besides the usual people being caught behind doors and melding with them, etc etc etc. one last thing, though, one time i was at the dren plantation thing near vivec, and i talked to a guy, looked away, put up my menu, dropped some stuff, then exited, turned aronud, and he had disappeared. completely. i looked all around the house, in every room, crack, door, everything, and he had purely disappeared. when i returned to the sopt after looking, though, i looked up a tthe ceiling, and saw a pair of feet sticking down from the ceiling. i looked at them, and it said that they belonged to him. somehow he had gotten stck in the ceiling. it has never fixed itself, and to this day (i bleieve) he sits in the ceiling, his feet sticking down.

i hope i win, i want to change my title BADLY :blink: , and this will help getting there

1 mod: Moon's Spawn.

6 words: No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!

It would have to be when I, sneaky thief I am, murdered that lady with the Redoran vault key. So, I open the vault door, and out runs this ordinator. Oh, crap! I must have been reported and didn't know! So, out runs this ordinator, he clears the vaults, turns around and declares: "Almsivi be with you" or something like that. Needless to say, I walked right on in and stole all the stuff. I guess they were happy I dealt with another noble or something. They didn't even bat an eye as, through a transparent door, I pilfered their Ebony stuff and walked right on out with it. However, one did approach me and say, "Praise Vivec!" They must have been stoned... those Redoran... >:-)

Walking into to three guards after being sent to jail and losing all my new stuff and they all say "Ooo a nudist how entertaining" or something like that at the same time. I suddenly felt like a cheap whore at the that bar in Suran

there i was minding my own business and accidentally tried to sleep in one of the beds of a guard, well the one on duty reported my crime and started running around. seeing it was only five gold, and i didn't have any stolen items on myself i calmy walked up and paid the guard the measley 5 gold for choosing the wrong bed. apparently fines and compensation went a bit far that day, or maybe the gaurd was just a punk but as soon as i paid off the gold i was NAKED! i sat there. perplexed as all getout as to how this could have happened to an upstanding citizen. so here i was naked in Caldera naked from trying to sleep in someone's bed. I think it's a glitch since i bought all the stuff fair and square. guess the imperials have a fetish for Breton balls.

man. my funniest moment was when playing "Pete's" mod. quite the cheating mod, i must say, but heres the funny thing:

i was about to make a potion (feather and levitate) whith the calcinator and all them tools.

needless to say i didnt check the "quality" part of the box....

i made the potion and you know as well as i do that it doesnt say the strength of it in the potion creation menu. i checked it later on, and do you know what it said? levitate 41516 points for 56643 seconds
feather 41516 points for 56643 seconds

i was curious so i drank it.

that was in january. ive played it for HOURS since, but i havent gotten down yet.
needless to say, nor have i slept.

ive got about 17 level-ups to go through.

i made some items that total over 100% chameleon and attacked a guard he took off running after that so did everyone

I attacked some argonian in Caldera and suddenly 20 guards came and slaughtered me. Where in the world did they all come from...?

The funniest thing I have done is kill Fargoth. I taunted him 3 times and he attacked. Then I hit him with me axe and he died. Just like that one hit. I was laughing so hard I almost soiled myself.

Master Theif Drakin StromHeart.

The funniest thing I can remember happened just after I left Seyda Neen for the first time.

Here I am, wandering around the swamps ripping up plants and terrorizing mudcrabs. All of a sudden I hear a bunch of screaming above me, and before I can move this ball of robes hurtles down and slams into the ground mere inches in front of me. I managed to rescue a book and some scrolls from the clutches of this former person (I assume, as there wasn't much left intact of him/her/it).

Still in a bit of shock over this event, I foolishly unrolled a scroll and read it out (something about Akivirian Flying - +1000 Acrobatics). Then, even more foolishly I tested it out by trying to jump up onto a boulder. That's was 2000 miles ago.

My poor little Breton self went hurtling up into the atmosphere (I think I even scraped my head on the smaller moon), and sailing over the continent. Trees, swamps, mountains, and towns blurred past openings in the clouds. Zones loaded left and right, every 2-3 seconds.

About the time I was whizzing over Caldera, I panicked. How was I gonna keep from ending up the next ball of robes? Frantically I tried to flair out my robes and cloak, but the wind just snapped them back, and nearly broke my arms in the process. No matter, seconds later I blazed down through the clouds, and smacked right into the side of a no so cushy boulder.

Praise Vivec, he took mercy on me (or maybe thought I would do it again for his amusement) and resurrected me, then pushed my back through time and place to that swamp. But, needless to say, I steered clear of that area, and haven't been back since.

Occasionally, when I see a shooting star in broad daylight, I think back and wonder if someone was recently at that swamp.

LOL - some great stuff there! :lol:

My funniest Morrowind moment - I may have mentioned this before on other forums - was when I was still a fairly low level character searching for that stupid dwemer puzzle box. Of course I'd missed the door to the bit where the box was, so I searched the entire lower levels. Twice.

On one level I met a Nord...as I said, my character was low level, and within 2 blows from that axe I was mincemeat. So I figured out a plan...brain over brawn.

To get to the hall with the nord you had to leap over a lava-filled chasm...so I leapt across using a rising force potion, sneaked up until I could see the nord then stuck out my tongue at him and yelled "come and have a go if you think you're hard enough ", turned round and ran like hell. I used one of the scrolls of Ikarian flight....so I sailed across the chasm and slammed into the wall on the far side. While I was sliding down the wall the Nord had followed me...and fallen into the chasm. I could hear him taking damage from the lava, but he kept yelling "you should have picked an easier opponent". Until the heat got to him eventually and he started yelling for his mum.




Funniest character encountered so far...the Orc who insists he's a Khajiit. Meow!

So I wake up one morning and head for my shower... no coffee yet, contacts not in my eye's and I'm groggier than I care to admit. Hanging in the shower I see a Greater Soul Gem... one of the purple ones. "Wow..." I think to myself... "what the h~ll's a greater soul gem doing in my shower... and do I have Soul Drinker on me??"

Turns out it was my wife's new, poofy, body-scrubber thing... Gawd but it looks JUST like a greater soul-gem, I swear...




I'm banned from posting now, aren't I??

ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Did you immediately attack rubber duckie to trap its little yellow soul?


OK...as for Morrowind/RL conflicts.... :lol:

After playing Morrowind for days I had to go out and buy food....Driving along I suddenly caught sight of some flying thing overhead out of the corner of my eye....and instinctively I ducked and wanted to grab a weapon... how did a bloody CLIFFRACER get here???

Of course, it was a plane coming in to land at the nearby airport.... :lol:


Dark0ne, I miss the [rofl] smilie...- think there is definitely a need for this excellent smilie here.....

Funniest morrowind moment? Hmm...I think it must be that time i drowned fargoth in that little swamp next to his frickin swamp. I punched him in the face then had me chase me down to his little stump where i bashed his face in with my bare hands...he fell down into the water, and for some reason he never stood back up...Guess he must have died gasping for breath while still grasping onto his precious stump. albeit empty stump.

Hehhe.

In seyda neen a rat attacked me. I freaked out and ran to peligaid. I did a few missions. And continued to balmora. I got involved in the main quest. I was in balmora walking around. And I walked outside of the mages guild. Then whack! The same damn rat from before had followed me to balmora. He gave me yellow tick disease. And none of the guards would touch him.


Also I was running around vivec streaking. I was totally naked and the only thing I had on was a glass helm. I put my speed up to 500 and ran around the temple area. I ran past an ordinater and he did not notice me at first. Then he said AH! What was that!

FYI to Theta Orionis: Dagoth Quackers was, in point of fact, neatly dispatched by my Daedric Mach III - Blade of Gilletteness but not before he cunningly attempted to blind me by throwing Sload Soap in my eyes.

It was a rough morning for Obsidian Shard.

Once I was in a cave looting it. I came around the corner and say this woman i already had my weapon out so I choped her real good on the head she died. like 3 seconds after she died she said, "YOU SHALL DIE!". I got scared that she might have cursed me but nothin happened so jus went on my way looting the cave.

Ok this is more of a quest I did and I'm sure many have also done. It starts out I'm exploring the glorious sewers of Vivic and I see this Orc so I jump over and talk with them but they try and attack me so I slay them in a hit or two and decide to check out the door she was guarding. I go inside and find a shrine of a daedric god. I clean out the place and decide to click on the statue and it speaks to me of its insanity and of mine! It tells me to go out and seek a crazed hermit to the far north and there get from him a fork to slay a giant netch with. I think to myself "what am I stupid? A god telling me to go find a fork and kill a netch???" So I end up heading out to Dagon Fel then traveling onward to this small island and there I find this insane, as the god told me, argonian. He speaks of cake and his master and of a grand-daddy netch that brings him cake and how the master does not. So I speak with him of the fork and so he tells me to take it and so I travel onward. But you see I didn't really get the netch part and went off killing every netch in the region without a bit of magic for spellcasting with a giant steak fork! Then finally going back I got that he said out his door which ment to the east. So I head outward and find the netch and slay it with the fork after a long battle. Then I travel back and get a pleasant reward. But just as I do, I have a CTD...If that doesn't cause one to go insane who knows what will.

In the Redoran Manor District in Ald-Ruhn, I had jumped off one of those wooden ramps and fell accidentally onto a guards' head. He looks up and says, "You've got my attention, outlander."

okies....

quite an amusing glitch-- onb the unpatched bloodmoon, my chaacter was a werewolf, and decided to go for a spot of vampire huntin

so there i am, slayin the buggers, andsomehow managet to catch polymorphic hemophillia, without my knowladge

3 nights later, i have a dream, and am a vampire

now, i cant go out during the day, because i am a vampire, and the sun hurts me, and at ight i am a were wolf, so everyone, including my vampire knsme attack me *d'oh*

also, using the altr outside the temple in vivec(the lavitate one) i got the spell, and left my character pointing directly up, and hit q

i left it, until it finally ran out, and lo and behold, when it finally did, i fell for five solid hours!!!

One time i was playing the Werewolves mod by The Lys, and as per usual i was runnin away from one of his bouncing canines when suddenly, i turned round and it had seemed to have dissapeared, but the "Grrrr" quotes were still coming up at the bottom of the screen , after looking round for a secon i found it thrashing about helplessly in the tree above me... :blink:

It seemed to have had a clipping bug and gotten stuck at the top of the trunk, where the branches start...

2000 Speed.


Try running around Dwemer ruins or Dagoths Facility with it.

This just happened to me 2 minutes ago. :lol:

I get contracted by this rich dudes wife, to follow him and see if he's cheating on her. So, I find the guy as he's leaving the local bar and follow him for a while. Sure enough, he meets up with this other woman. Before things can progress, and haunt my dreams, I interrupt. The guy just blows me off, but the woman goes ballistic, forcing me to kill her in self-defense! However, this greatly aggravates the guy who now goes ballistic!

I figure I should probably confer with his wife before I do anything, so I take off running back to their mansion, with the guy hot on my trail. Reaching the mansion, I quickly bound upstairs towards the door, figuring the guy will chase me all the way in. Wrong! Just before I get to the door, he yelps out, "Let me live!" and takes off down the stairs and around the corner. :lol:

I gave chase and followed him ALL the way across the plaza to the far wall, whch he kept trying to squeeze himself through.


P.S. Maybe I'll turn clipping off and see how far he goes before stopping.

LOL, lemmie no how that goes m8

Let's see, my funniest moment in Morrowind... Well, I guess it would have to be the time that I summoned a Golden Saint to protect me. Except when I summoned it, it started attacking me. I was only about level 3, and had used a scroll, so it killed me really fast.

I remember using the mannequin mod,and putting a mannequin in the middle of the pawnbroker in Balmora.He actually looked at it and said the "To what do I owe the honor,Cyrodil?"

*See my previous post for the story*

Lol. He must be REALLY scared of his wife! :lol: He never stopped! I gave up after about 20 minutes, when I finished dinner .

Note: Sharpie markers and 25pack cd bundles make great key jammers. Too bad I didn't figure this out unil after nearly 10 minutes.

Also, after a while our feet got frozen in the jump position (and I no longer heard footfalls), but we kept moving forward like we were still running. Kinda strange.

Lets keep this thread open after the competition is finished. I keep running into strange/funny stuff, and thoroughly enjoy everyone else's stories (esp, the one about the town vs a Titan Ogrim :lol: ).

I heard a shocking/funny thing from Almalexia's right-hand man today.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Warning: Possible Spoiler<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

As I walk up to the dude, after solving the plague problem and to get my next temple quest, he says,"I'm so hungry, I could eat a rat." :lol:

I just sat there stunned for a second, thinking both, "Man this guys salary must suck," and "Quick someone lock the basement!"

Normally, I wouldn't pay much attention, but considering all the rats were currently infected with the plage, I found it highly amusing and ironic.

Heh heh, a few that made me laugh there, but the winners have to be Baphomet for his comments on capturing Dagoth Quackers using his Blade of Gilletteness and cmac for his comments.

Each have received 100 gold!

You may continue to post your funny things here, but they won't receive monetary rewards!

I just got another funny/annoying moment. I made a set of clothing that would give me chameolean 100% constant effect. I saved my game, and a few minutes later the game crashed. I loaded my game, and all my stuff was gone, but when I talked to people, they would say "Who's there?".

Well, I just finished Tribunal. I have to say the ending was rather disappointing (not to mention the last few quests I had to do to get there). So, I decided to have some fun and go postal.

First thing, I buzz over to Vivec and beat the bloody snot out of him. Then I proceed to take down Ordinators with one strike (thanks to Hopefire (sp?) and 1100 strength). Soon, I've worked my way to St. Olms canton and after dispatching two Ordinators there, I run over and whack the taxiboat lady. She falls down screaming,"You will die!" and sure enough, in that very instant I drop dead.

This, of course, totally stunned me for a moment before I remembered that I had taken a super Fortify Health potion earlier(+118) and hadn't healed after romping with the final boss.

LOL oh yeah i get that one a lot... especially with my unbalancing items, my char's life literally becomes dependant on em cos after the hiding he receives during the fortify health constant effect as soon as i take it off he drops dead. i found that very confusing the first few times it happened :lol:

Prophetic Dunmer gondolier...a bit spooky, isn't it?

Switch - Hehe, yeah. I hate it when I forget about it and haven't saved for a while.

cmac - Lol, I guess they are good for something. After all, who really catches a taxi just to go a block down the street/canton.

people who cant be bothrd 2 look for the bridge and squeeze past all those ordinators? like me

lol, I ususally just Levitate, so I don't have to walk up all those stairs.

My funniest (or most lame) moment was near the finaly

POSSIBLE SPOILER





as you have entered dagoth urs lair and are running down to confront him, he speaks to u on occasion through a realy loud telepathy. well listning to his voice was the funniest thing ever, because throughout the entire game Dagoth Ur is made out to be this giant scary guy, but his voice sounds like a 14 year old with a messed up voice that is to scared to play the part. kind of a disapointment

on an of note, they should have used the voice of Oblivion from Turok 2. now that WAS scary

I dont rember all funny or weird things that happened to me,
but the latst that happened was in Bloodmoon,
wich i recently bought.
My mage(necro) was out of magic and near death, but still curious about the new world i explored a little further.
Just when i remembered i hadnt saved for quite a while two wolves
and an outlaw(one of the evil guys that roams around on Solstheim)
came after me Too many so i tried running back to Fort Frostmoth.
Entering the Fort the guards slayed the wolfs and so i stopped running.
A second later the outlaw banged me with his axe twice before
I could make it for a run again and entered the shrine and made my way to
the ramparts. So from on the "high" ground i saw the guy standing by the door...unattacked by the guards. Now i saved. He kept following me and
shouting that im a coward. I came down behind him and attacked him from the rear with my claymore and sliced him before he could strike back.
Thought i'd saved the day(and now planing to call those lazy guards names for their "help"letting the outlaw trough the gate and untouched) ,but the guards called me murderer..and slayed me in a mather of seconds. ???u get that
They wont attack an enemy..but the good guy. a bug?


But what i find most funny is (im in the mages guild) with my big pers skill..everyone loves my char as it it was their own brother. And when i take a stupid lantarn or so just to use..they call me names as if im the devil himself...u should see the fireballs scorching my ass then. But guess yall know that feeling.
funny every time tho.

yeah i always thought it was dumb how the NPC's over-react to u stealing stuff... i pick up some muck from a table and YOU N'WAH!! *boom* the entire place erupts.

one time i tried 2 pluck a flower from a plant at someones house and all the people there started shouting at me and came after me! for picking a PLANT!! :blink:

apparently even the most insignificant of items is worth killing someone over...

the funnyest thing that ever happend to me on morrowind is when i was in vivec and iwas walking and there wasnt a orinator in sight well then i fell through the graphics and landed in the water and there they all were all the orinators were all takeing a dip under vivec ilaughed and killed them all hahahahahahah :lol:

I know everyone has seen Fargoth do and say the corniest things, yet once again I will add something to the list: Fargoth has an unhealthy fascination with chickens.

Ok, so a bunch of farm animals have arrived on Morrowind due to the recent shipments of Caits Creatures Inc, and the inhabitants carry on with their lives as usual. All except Fargoth, who is all too curious about the chickens wandering outside is house. That guy will just stare at them pecking around, with a wry smile on his face, a slight curl on his lips.

I approached Fargoth, (Gods knows why, most likely to harass him perhaps), but he payed no heed to my presence. His eyes, and attention, were fixated on the backside of a chicken. I stepped in front of him, breaking his concentration. Needless to say, this greatly aggravated him and he finally tore his attention long enough from the chicken to tell me, "Go away! Can't you tell I'm busy?!" He then returned his attention to the chicken. The chicken happened to make it's way behind Fargoth's house, with Fargoth close behind. What happend next...I can't say. I wasn't strong enough to find out :blink:

Vivec be merciful when he finds the goats.

I agree completely. It's a leaf of heather, worth nothing, you pick it up and what do you get? "You will die!"
I mean come on people.....

LOL :lol: That always annoyed me, especially when I would grab something by accident while trying to speak with a store owner. Ugh :angry: .

They should have made it give you the option to put it back, or at least make them not get made unless you try to leave with the goods. Maybe make it where when you pick it up, it initiates the barter dialog, then if you cancel it will put the object back.

Oh well, I certainly have become more careful about what I touch.