I am doing the house redoran quests and the redguard in the main chambersa or whatever told me to talk to salyn sarethi because someone is trying to kill him. so I go there and there is no topic about that

When you get there, his guard should have been slain and the assassins should attack you on sight. If this didn't happen, you might have a bug. I suggest (if you can) to reload prior to getting that quest and then going immediately to Sarethi after you get it.

dammit!!

its been like a month!

now I cant get my 3 construction phase done

The assassins (two of them) don't come until you talk to Sarethi and get the journal entry HR_GuardSarethi 30. Then they appear, you kill them, and talk to him again, getting the journal entry HR_GuardSarethi 50. After reporting back to Neminda, you get the journal entry HR_GuardSarethi 100.

it does not happen to me...

...Then use the console to make it happen...

XBox U S E R
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I am an Xbox user so I cant do that

How can you have a level two stronghold for Redoran and be doing Neminda's quests? If you have been accepted by Sarethi and promoted to house father then perhaps this 'early' quest is no longer available to you. I cannot see why that should prevent the stronghold being completed. Forget that quest and finish getting the councillors on your side. IIRC it is not essential to do every quest to reach the top in House Redoran. If you haven't done enough then you must have missed others - try Tuveso Beleth the smith in the council chamber who gives you two quests, Theldyn Virith in Ald Velothi who has five, Lloros Sarano in the Ald Ruhn temple has four and Faral Retheran in the treasury at Vivec who has six.

But the one sarethi gave me about nerano and his slanders

the problem is that I had killed him earlier in the game

Start again, you'll be able to do it so much faster now. And as a warning to everyone IT IS A BAD IDEA TO KILL THOSE NOT ATTACKING YOU if you intend to play the whole game.

Since you are on Xbox there isn't even a console control available. It may (I have no knowledge) be possible to circumvent this by going to Tel Tyr and rescuing Delyna Mandas. She wants you to take a locket to her father but does not know where he is. She tells you to ask Athyn Sarethi. It might work. You should probably first go from her to Llerer Mandas in the Council Chamber at Ebonheart. It won't work if you have killed her father of course and since he appears to be a bandit in a cave you might just have done so.

Anyway, try it.

whats the caves name?

because I do kill lots o bandits