You can call this topic finished I just deleted everything in my My Games folder and restarted Oblivion without anything else selected it reset the whole thing.

So now I just load up all the non-conflicting MODs that I want and am careful with the load order of the mild to moderate conflicts. Then I work at renaming and rerouting or even moving reference points on the map or interiors and altering what terrain two MODs meet at so that they don't connect. It's a real learning experience, but I am a quick study and I'm burning through with the help of these boards and the tutorials that are out there.