Lol.. What was the funniest thing you've heard and NPC say?

For me, right before i got to the island, the Khajiit ferryman says...

"Here fishie-fishie! So and so has a present for you!!" *hawks a fat one and spits into the water* "Here you go, eat this fishie!!"

Haha!

"So there I was, naked and no idea where I was" -Owner of trade house in seyyda neen TES3

Everyone could potentially say that.

Didn't it go something like..

"I don't remember casting a teleportation spell, but there i was alone and naked'

Yeah, that's it.

I at once heard a NPC complaining about a guar ruining boots she didn't have on. She also didn't have boots in any nearby containers.

Did you know that if you jump onto an npc's head while he is saying something, his voice will become high pitched and speeds up? It's funny.

LOL! No.

But i know that if i try to talk to an NPC sometimes when his back is turned he says

"Who's there?"

The Nords in Bloodmoon have several amusing quips - one about Grandpa Goat, one something like 'his mother swapped him for a dog then sold the dog' and 'That's it, she was an ecdysiast'. (An ecdysiast is a strip-tease artist.)

From an idol Imperial guard: "Join the legion, see the world, freeze your arse!" lol

funniest thing I've ever heard an npc say was "the blades? they're bastards who work for that dip of an emporer" and of course i'm in the blades lol

The funniest thing I've ever heard in Morrowind was a Wood Elf saying, "Now where is that Bar-Wench? I have an urge I need to get rid of..."

I just about died laughing!

Morrowind seems to be for more mature audiences, compared to Oblivion...

" Hey, I found a piece of cheese. Who's piece of cheese is this?" -A classic.
"Do I have a chunk of bear in my teeth?" -I forget who said that, but I remember it.
"Some people are born dumb, like me for instance." -A nord said that.

We're watching you... Scum. -Ordinators.

It's how they pause before saying Scum and their general matter of fact tone that makes me crack up.

Also, 'I'm not amused.' Makes me crack up as well.

"Have you ever seen a massive Nord Warrior accidentally hit himself in the face with his own warhammer in the haze of a battle?
I haven't, but I really hope I will someday..."

(Julan, Ashlander Companion - Best CompanionMod ever)