[Uncle Roe]

Alone i sit, Alone i wait,waiting for my embaressing fate.

Am i doomed? Am i forgotten? In this box of stain, in the air of rotten?

"Hello?..anyone on the other side?" i queitly ask..

With no help around,leaving will be an impossible task.

I should have checked before i sat should have looked before i shat.

Impatiently i shudder,arms around my shoulders,

My legs are getting numb now, this seat is getting colder.

What if i starve? could i die here?

What horrors seek to feed on my fear!?

Shaking now,going into shock..

i wonder if the door is locked.

I think of my family,as life flashes before my eyes.

The fun,the laughs, the crying, the lies..

All this for nothing, as i am soon to go..

the grim reaper approaches from below.

A voice from beneath echos in my head

"Any last words before joining the dead?"

i think of my wife...and the last words i would have said,

"Hun, we are out of toilet paper..and i need to go bad"

Alas.. my life ends.. next to the toilet,magazines..and body lotion

To the the watery depths with my grim reaper guide as i flush my last emotion.

[dezdimona]

Deep and thought provoking to say the least, Bravo!

[Herculine]

I was going to say something nice about this writing until the author called me jail-bait, so now I'm just going to sulk.

[dezdimona]

Herculine, on Sep 18 2009, 11:14 PM, said:

I was going to say something nice about this writing until the author called me jail-bait, so now I'm just going to sulk.

[Herculine]

Herculine, on Sep 18 2009, 07:14 PM, said:

I was going to say something nice about this writing until the author called me jail-bait, so now I'm just going to sulk.

(Apparently Uncle Roe has revised his opinion of me to "illegally cute" so I'm not sulking now.)

In the first half of this poem I thought your words firmly grasped the anxiety of the soldier, making the reader feel it too, but the end of the poem sounded more like satire and I thought it detracted from the mood of the piece. But I'm no professor and we all have our own writing styles, so I give it a "thumbs-up".

[Uncle Roe]

i have an older poem based on personel experience somewhere in the druids garden. i think i titled it "no white light for me"
It's more of the anxiety your looking for.

The poem on this thread is just something i figured i'd mess with your heads with a bit. i was just messing around and it made me laugh thinking about it in my head.